running around in circles

i've always thought that i gave more than i received. it never really mattered what it was that i was giving away, i never seemed to get anything back for it. at school it was toys, when i was a teenager it was friendship and now that i'm older its respect and trust. i have very few people in my life that actually understand me. my wife does, my closest friend does but they live with me, they have no choice but to get me

i dont do hatred. i dont hate the girl that fucked up my entire life when i was seventeen. i dont hate the girlfriend that pushed me to overdose at twenty. i dont hate the girlfriend that robbed me of all of my confidence and left me a hollow shell when she left me when i needed her most. i dont hate the "brother" that tried to fuck my wife whilest convincing me to cheat on her and later said that he would never speak to me again unless i got a divorce and left my pregnant wife and son. people dont get it and keep telling me not to hate them every time something goes wrong. "hate" isnt in my vocabulary, its not that hard to understand

i dispise being ignored. if you want my advice i will give you it but dont fucking stab me in the back and ignore what i've said. i've been through enough shit with "friends" and "girlfriends" to know what i'm talking about. i wouldnt wish half the shit i've been through on my enemies, all you have to do is actually listen to me

i'm tired of giving. its about time someone gave back