today has not been such a great day. my mood has been changing so fast that i dont know whether i'm coming or going. i dont like it when its like that, both confuses me upsets me aswell as scares me. i cherish the brief times when i'm happy because i know its not gonna be very long before thats gone again and i'm back to down and wanting to hide under my duvet until all the bad stuff simply goes away
i dont know exactly what the bad stuff is and thats the problem. i dont understand the issues i have to deal with. if i dont understand it, how can anyone else? how can somebody that doesnt suffer with these problems know how to handle it? i find myself hiding how i'm feeling and making my way out of conversations so that people dont ask the inevitable "whats wrong?" or "are you ok?". i dont know whats wrong and i dont know if i'm ok. they're simple questions with the world's most complex answers. its been like that all day. i have a feeling i may have offended or upset some of my friends. sometimes i cant talk to some while all i want to do is talk to others. maybe i'm over thinking again but i can see it, it looks like i'm ignoring some in favour of others. i dont mean it, i just cant help or control it
i'm sorry
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Hey, hang on in there. I know you don't have a choice over how you sre feeling.As you said, you have to live with Manic Depression every day and there are more down days than up days. Your real friends and the people who care about you will always be there for you.You don't need to apologise for who you are and how you are feeling. xx
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