i came here to make you dance tonight

its been a while since i last posted an entry here, mainly because i was unconscious. yeah, i'm back in hospital again. i dunno what happened really, all i know is that i stopped breathing and nearly died. my lips were blue and everything apparently. i dunno, you'd have to ask kay or aimie for the rest of the details

today's been a big day for me for a number of reasons. its the first day since i've been in this bed that i've actually had the strength to do anything, which is a big improvement. its also another sort of anniversary for me, today marks exactly two years since i last touched cocaine. i'm proud of that, really proud

i woke up today and there was a look on both kay and aimie's faces that i'll never forget. i'll never forget the kindness and love and extreme selflessness that my family and friends have shown me with their actions today. if you know me well enough, you know that it really doesnt take much to make me smile, that there are certain people in this world that mean a lot to me, probably more than they should. at first i thought kay and aimie were lying when they told me what had happened, what they'd done. i still cant believe it now to be honest. aimie and hannah went above and beyond today, i can never thank you girls enough for what you did. i dont know why they felt the need to do it, but i'm so overwhelmed by their actions. it probably seems so dumb or trivial to most people, but it meant the whole world to me. aimie and hannah somehow managed to get pete fucking wentz and alex gaskarth to send me messages. i cant believe it. i had so many messages today, from so many people, i cant even remember everyone. pete wentz, alex gaskarth, victoria asher, ethan suplee, lee gaze, mike lewis, lyriq bent, matthew mixon, chris masterson, danny kurily... there's more to be added to that list too. people saw pete wentz and alex gaskarth sending me messages and then started sending me messages themselves. its so overwhelming, i cant describe the feeling

i dont want this feeling to end. thank you